August is Anal Sex Month. Did anyone else miss that memo? I only learned about it today when I was
listening to one of the various sex podcasts in my queue. (Thanks, Sex Nerd Sandra!) But Anal Sex Month isn’t like Masturbation
May, Gay Pride June or Asexual Awareness October.
Anal Sex Month has been around
since 1927, brought to you for decades by the proud sponsor Bung Balm: It’s Bung-tastic! Oh, would that I lived in
the roaring 20s!
Of course, back then anal sex was seen as the safer
alternative to premarital coitus. Heaven
forbid a girl’s chaste was ruined before her wedding night, or worse, she
turned up pregnant before he put a ring on it.
So, to save the female virtue, women were encouraged to bend over and
take one for the team. And not just
horny straight women. Lesbians and gay men
were encouraged to get in on the action too.
Hell, no babies were coming from that tom-foolery.
What was once considered taboo has since become so
mainstream that in 2005 the CDC reported that about 40% of men and 35% of women
have had butt sex at some point in their relationships. Quite a leap from the meager 11% Kinsey
reported in the 30’s and 40’s . But with
all of this butt stuff going on, there are still misconceptions about the practice,
pleasure and hygiene of anal sex. While
not a taker myself (full discloser, I didn’t even think the ass was hot until I
met my husband), I am still a proud practitioner. So here are some standard things I’ve come to
learn about taking it up the butt:
1. It’s a mess down there.
There’s really no way of getting around it. When we talk about butt stuff, we also need
to talk about poop. And shit happens,
boys and girls. It’s not pretty, and can
be downright embarrassing at times. But
the anus serves a particular biological function, and that is to excrete waste through
the same hole you may want filled. For
some people, the thought of poop-dick is enough to turn them off to the whole idea
of butt play. But there are plenty of
ways to combat Mother Nature, and here are a few:
Ø Shower
Ø Douche
o
Admittedly, this one is a bit
tricky. Douching in any form can damage
the natural enzymes within the rectum, and using some sort of hose or
attachment can hurt the colon. Still,
there are tools out there if you look in the right places. So research your options, know your body, and
use caution.
Ø Diet
and exercise.
o
What goes in must come out, and fruits
and berries and lots of fiber make the whole process that much easier. Add exercise to the balanced diet mix, and
your body is a well oiled machine…almost.
2. Kiss it before you stick it.
Oral sex is not just for the genitals. In fact, a tongue in the bum can feel
amazing! Not only does rimming feel
good, but it can get the body’s natural juices flowing, relax the sphincter,
and make the overall experience more pleasurable. But again, good hygiene plays a factor. A clean butt goes a long way, but even the cleanest
of holes can harbor unhealthy bacteria and other things just waiting to get
into you. So if you kiss your partner
down there, keep the tongue action on the outer ring of the anus. In other words, stick to the hole. For one, it’s safer. And two, there are way more nerve endings
outside than there are in.
3. Lube makes the world go round.
No matter how much you spit on it, lubrication does
wonders. Bung-balm knew the importance
of lube, and so do condom companies.
Most condoms come pre-lubricated for his and her pleasure. Not only does it feel better for the top and
bottom, but it reduces the tearing that can occur during anal intercourse. It literally makes the whole experience
smoother, so use lube. Water-based
lubricants are more practical. Once it
feels like it’s wearing off just spit in your hand and you’re back in
business. There are also a number of
flavored lubes, if you’re feeling particularly frisky. Pick from kiwi-strawberry, chocolate or...bacon? There is a fucking bacon flavored lube,
people!
America! Am I
right?
So there it is…my backdoor breakdown. You don’t have to be gay to be into butt
stuff. In fact, research shows more and
more people are opening up to the idea.
Still, there is a pleasurable way and a not so pleasurable way to do
it. You cannot just cram it in and
expect your partner to be legs up and raring to go. Good butt sex takes time, especially if it is
your first time. Take a bath. Light a candle. Maybe throw some music on to
set the mood. And then grab the lube and
make sure your partner is ready for the ride.
Otherwise, the anal boat will sink before it ever leaves the port, and
anal sex month will be ruined. For you,
at least. I’m about to go celebrate
right now.
Happy Anal Sex Month!